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Patti Ponders
21 August 2007 @ 01:09 pm
If you could be another person for a day, who would it be and why?

I would be "Tammy".  Tammy was a girl in my 9th grade class at school.  Tammy was in some of my classes and never let the chance pass her by to make fun of me.  The funny thing is that what she made fun of was the fact that I could actually get up and read in front of the class without any embarrassment.   I will never forget reading a passage from "Romeo and Juliet".  I loved the way they spoke back then.....and I relished in the fact that I could get embrace the whole mindset of what I was reading.  She made fun of me for that.  I don't know....maybe she couldn't read?   

Tammy was also the girl that would follow me home while she was with a group of her friends.  (I was the new girl at at school.)  I walked home alone....no one lived near me.  She would taunt me....push me.....try to grab my bookbag.  You know......the kind of friend you always wanted in high school.

I was talking with my mom the other day and we were discussing kids getting bullied.  I never told her about my good ole' friend Tammy and what she used to do.  At 44, I relayed to her all that happened that year in school when Tammy was around.  I thought my mom was going to cry  because I never told her.  

Yeah.....I would like to be Tammy right about now.  I wonder how her life turned out.  
Patti Ponders
12 June 2007 @ 03:31 pm
No real reason for updating other than I feel the urge lately to pound the keys in a determined way.  Humor me.....:)

I am sitting at the computer at the moment watching the men across the street rebuild a neighbor's front porch.  Actually, it is no longer my neighbor's front porch, for he passed away a few months ago.  Over the years, I would occasionally bring him hot meals or desserts on summer nights, but I can't really say I was a "good" neighbor to him.  He never married, but lived instead with his brother in that house since he was a child.  His brother passed away a few years ago.  The remaining brother had his health issues, one of them being a broken hip about a year or so ago.  I can't imagine how lonely this man felt because he was found dead a few months ago.  Apparently he hung himself in the house, which not only gives me the heebie jeebies, but it also makes me feel extremely sad.  I can't imagine feeling that lonely......(although I have had moments in my life of feeling alone)  I hope he is in a better place filled with love and familiar faces.

I am working as a medical assistant and love my new job AND my new career.  We just laid to rest my father in law on May 29th.  He suffered greatly due to cancer.  With his last breath, while laying in his bed at home, he reached for my hand, held it to his heart.......and passed away.  This man, in my 10 years being married to his son, drove me NUTS on occasions.  He was opinionated and was always right.....(in his mind anyway!).  Over the years I learned how to deal with this.  I was honored to be sitting with him when he died.........and I know he knew what I did for him in the end.  I miss you Joe....you stubborn old man!!!!!

That's it!    Bye kids......:)
Current Location: Hull MA
Current Music: birds chirping (hammers in the background....haha)
Patti Ponders
12 December 2006 @ 01:43 pm
WHOOHOOOO!!!  False alarm.  Me and my boobs are fine!  I will have to get checked every 6 months, but heck, I will go every 6 weeks if it means early detection in the future.

I went to a cocktail type party at a friend's house last night to pay tribute to my parish priest who is being sent to another parish.   I guess he is doing such a fantastic job here, so they realized they want to send him elsewhere to get another parish off their lazy butts!  (Lesson to be learned here......do a shitty job or you get sent away).  

So anyway, I found myself swapping semi-risque jokes with this priest.  Hmmm....am I going to hell?  :)
Patti Ponders
27 November 2006 @ 05:50 pm

Whew..............one holiday down, another to go!

I can't wait for Christmas!!!  It is probably my most favorite holiday.  Sure, I get frazzled with all the shopping and commercialism, but I truly enjoy the simple things from it as well.  I love the decorating, baking, card writing and everything else that goes with it. 

I got a call from the mammogram center Friday morning and the message on the machine said "Please call us as soon as.......please call us to schedule a 2nd mammogram".  You could tell she was saying "as soon as possible" but then realized how urgent it sounded, so she then tried to change the message mid-stream.  Either way, I get the point.........it's urgent.  I am very scared and for some reason I am expecting the worse.  Gotta love the pessimist in  me!  December 5 is the date set........and it can't get here &^%$ soon enough.

I think putting up another string of Christmas lights outside might brighten my mood!!!! 

Patti Ponders
22 November 2006 @ 09:38 pm
Wednesday, November 22
4:58 p.m.

The phone rings.

Me:  "Hello?"
Lady on other end:  "Hi.....may I speak with Patti C......?"
Me:  "This is Patti C...."
Lady:  "This is Blah Blah at Dr. Blah Blah's office.  Dr. Blah Blah received the results from your mammogram on Monday.  Has the lab called you  yet?"
Me:  "Ummm....no.....why?"
Lady:  Dr. Blah Blah reviewed the results and there are some shadows in your right breast.  There is no reason to be alarmed, but they want you in to have more tests."
Me:  "Ummm....okay.  I will hang up and call the lab now to make another appointment asap."
Lady:  "Good luck reaching them.  I am sure they went home because of the Thanksgiving holiday.:
Me:  "I am trying now anyway.  Thank you for the information."
Me dialing the phone:  'Shit....shit....shit........don't get scared yet....shit....shit....shit!!!!!!"
Answering maching of Lab:  "We are closed until Monday due to the Thanksgiving holiday.  If this is an emergency, call Blah blah blah."
Me:  'Fuck....Fuck...Fuck"

Oh boy...........fuck it.........I am gorging myself with pecan pie, pumpkin pie and any other fucking kind of pie I want to this weekend.

Patti Ponders
18 November 2006 @ 10:16 am

I have just come back from dropping my son and a friend off at one of the fishing piers down the road from us.  We live just a bit south of Boston, so if you know your geography, you should know we live in the NorthEast.  Normally, this time of year, we are in the 30 to 40 degree weather every day.  Some years, we have already seen light dustings of snow.  I ran out in my jeans, t-shirt and slippers.  (Didn't even brush my teeth yet....but sshhhhh!)

Our town is hosting a huge rowing event.  Groups from all around are gathered down at the pier to join in the rowing event.  I believe it is about a 1/4 mile row, with about 20 or so different races throughout the day.  Most spectators usually have heavy coats, mittens, hats......and the never ending supply of hot cocoa on hand.
Today????   They have on jeans....some shorts.....beach chairs lined up to watch......coolers.  

Heelllloooooooo????     Mother Nature?????????  Where you be???

P.S.  Remind me of this post when I have a blizzard!!!!!!   :)

Patti Ponders
15 November 2006 @ 05:43 pm
Good Afternoon!

My name is Patti and I am a Medical Assistant Wanna-Be!!
Would you let me stick a needle in your arm for purposes of drawing blood for practice??

Okay......here is the scenario:

I am one of 11 students in my Phlebotomy Class.  Obviously, we are still in the learning stages of this. This means, of course, that our hands might be shaking while we are holding a very pointed, sharp (did I mention deadly weapon?!) needle.  Oh yeah......we are going to stick that needle into your arm and suck da blood out of you.

Of course....some of these students fall asleep at their desks.....come in with what seems like the clothes they slept in.......have shaky hands.......get the picture?  Like I said....some...not all.

Yup.....we practice on each other.  (Did I mention that we sign a form saying we will not go after the school if there is a medical problem that occurs from the drawing of blood?)

Would you let someone draw on you if you were uncomfortable?

Patti Ponders

I had a few minutes today in between "things" and I found myself watching a bit of the Oprah show.  On the show today, she showed a taped interview of her interviewing a man from his jail cell.  The man was convicted of murdering his 2 twin daughters, aged 5.  He had documented issues of depression and was being treated for it for a number of years.  The day of the murders, I guess something snapped and he stabbed his daughters to death.

His wife was then in the studio with Oprah being interviewed.  She is and has been standing beside her husband throughout this whole ordeal.  She feels he was mentally unstable (ah duh!) and is not the monster that everyone has made him out to be.  Although she showed genuine grief for the loss of her children, she  obviously loved her children and is choosing to celebrate and remember their lives and the good memories she has of them and her husband.

Could you stand beside your spouse if this happened to you?  I just don't know................. 

Patti Ponders
28 August 2006 @ 05:07 pm

Well........there is no time like the present to jump right back into this, so here goes:

Dear Diary:

Where the hell does the time go?  It seems like it was just yesterday that I was looking forward to spending the whole summer working on my tan and trying to suck my body into that polka dot bikini.  
It is hard to believe that Labor Day weekend is within reach of my fingertips.  If I was to have any doubt about that, a quick look outside to the overcast sky and the feel of the cooler temps on my bare legs leave no room for error........the end of summer is fast approaching!

I had a very fruitful summer, so I have nothing to whine about.  On my short list of accomplishments, you will find:
* 5 camping trips
* cleaned out basement
* painted house trim  (okay...I lied....haha)
* signed up for school
* into my 4th week of school
* had lunch with friends I had not seen for a while
* saw a few movies
* had fun with my camera
* sent off photos to friends of their children
There are a few other entries I could make, but they all seem trivial at the moment.  Just knowing I accomplished a number of things from my "to-do" list is accomplishment enough for me.

School is okay.  It seemed to be such a daunting task to learn how to sit down and find "me" time in order to study, but so far so good.  (I am in a Medical Assistant program....A- grade so far!!)
Once I start sticking and pricking people to draw blood, we shall see if my shaking hands give away my nervousness..YIKES!

My husband's cousin was diagnosed with esophageal cancer, having a 3-4 month life expectancy.  He is undergoing rounds of chemo to hopefully extend his life a bit.  If anyone gets anything out of reading my journal, please get this....TELL YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS YOU LOVE THEM!!!  I hate having to have such a potential tragedy remind me just how fragile life is, but it is a blessing in disguise for those who have pushed people aside.  It is never to late to reach out and say 'I love you" to someone.

My husband's father had gall bladder surgery last week.  He went today to have the stitches removed.  The good news is that the surgery went well.  The bad news is that he was told he has cancer "bordering" the liver.  God knows what that even means!!  I hate it when his parents go to the doctors without one of us around to translate what is said to them.  We will find out more on Friday.  

My tan is fading.......my eyes hurt from reading so much......my butt cheeks hurt because I walked 7 miles yesterday......(talk about out of shape!)......my hair needs a color work-up again........

All in all......things are good!  :)   Please say a prayer!